rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
