do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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