If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
