we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
