your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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