You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
