Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
