She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
