Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
