how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
it hurts more in the daytime
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
