The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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