the day after is always just damage control
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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