I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
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