I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
this boner is exhausting
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
