I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
