i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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