party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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