Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
