Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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