whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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