i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
