I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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