Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
