thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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