All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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