Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
