Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
