If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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