I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
