you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
two words: eviction party
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
