I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
it glows. i had to have it.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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