what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
