I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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