We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
