ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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