I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
