when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
COCAINE IS GR8
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
