Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
