too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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