I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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