a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
