Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I did not marry a roomba.
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