conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
