; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
