He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Watching her eat just hurts me
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
