Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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