I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Dick very happy bro
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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