She's JV to your varsity
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
