I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
