I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
